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This will be a short post, I told myself,
so it maybe long, or short, but I planned to make it short.
Just let it flow...
After spending some time lying on the badminton court (?),
I figured out what I should do and what I should not.
This has to end, someday, somehow, somewhere.
I had a plan...
And I'm ready to suffer the consequences...
Pretty down again, these few days...
I need something new... something to revive me...
Not alcohols, not story books, but something...
Don't really know what it is, that's making it tough...
Geez...
If its possible, I wanna scream as loud as possible,
to get rid of those gloomy things in my mind...
There is a hole in my heart now,
wonder if anything can mend it up...
Told ya, its short^^
Pretty down these few days,
I decide to express my feeling on this post,
but not announcing her name,
she'll feel troubled.
1 1/2 year, not a long time, not a short time either.
Since when my heart tend to treat her differently,
I'm not so sure;
Since when my eyes become watery because of her,
Not sure either;
Since when my head become light-headed when thinking about her,
Still the same answer;
Since when my fists started to punch the wall and slap my face,
You'll know it;
Anyway, they're a part of my life now, and new members coming in too.
Nightmares...
Overnights...
"Mind-drifter"...
occasionally Tears join them too...
and they have their minions too,
eg. Pimples and Sore-throats come with overnights, and etc...
Anyway, I'm still doing good,
I have friends that can help me to numb my nerves,
They give me great happiness,
but I must say they can't help me to solve this problem,
as they don't know much (some even know nothing) about her,
so... probably its my fault to tell her their comments.
Am I pushing too much?
Am I expecting too much?
Am I thinking too much?
or am I giving too much?
I don't know,
I'm a novice in this particular issue,
I need back ups, not physically, but mentally...
The only back up I have now is kinda busy,
so probably I gonna fight alone now.
(LOL, I'm seems to narrate her as a devil instead of a girl I like)
When my heart is filled with problems I deal in this issue,
I feel alone, really alone...
Its just like everyone beside me vanished,
When I told Hock Chuan (aka Elward) about everything,
he said nothing, just patted my shoulders,
that is enough, I feel that the empty space I'm standing become a bit better,
Tears swarming inside my eyes,
try to control it before it drops and he probably laugh at me(LOL!!!)
I don't care who will read this blog entry,
Even though my parents who would be so anxious about me,
Its alright, Dad, Mum, I'm alright,
Your son won't crumble,
Both of you are my pillars, supporting me,
and one day, I shall be yours
I really miss you all... really....
I will try my best over here and won't disappoint you,
I may be irresponsible in the past,
but believe in me, I'm changing,
Soon, I would let you all believe that I'm a full-grown man.
Geez, I don't think I have any energy to continue,
My eyes are causing dehydration,
And the topic above does not match the story,
This is just a part of my Aus life,
I have my friends and my school life to say,
But I think I'll leave them to the future,
Until then, see you, guys
Take care, to everyone I know.
-To Be Continued-
Bought 2 books from a cheap book sale, both from Jeffery Archer.
Pretty cheap, 6 bucks per book.
Its a long time since I read a story book,
still find that Archer rocks, too bad he's dead.
Thrilling, mystery with a couple of jokes,
his stories are masterpieces.
Many people envied me as I'm "immune" to tickle,
I thought I don't have any "soft" spot.
Unfortunately, I found one yesterday night =.=
My ear...
I phoned her yesterday, for an hour,
and my ear burned till this afternoon...
Honestly, LOL!!!
Am I a "soft-ear"? (Chinese expression)
Maybe...
Another burden is released... from my inner heart.
Burden of "sandwiched",
don't ask what, and why too,
It's a freaking long story, and I have no intend to repeat it.
So, let it be...
Still having sore throat every morning and before sleeping,
Why?
Definitely not H1N1!!! (Just comforting myself...)
But anyway, everyone must take care,
especially those who have a weaker body,
please, take care...
Half of 2009 has gone,
an interesting year, I must admit.
I can tell that something is changing within me,
and its going to the positive side.
Mum, I'm trying to be the man in the house,
so just feel safe when I'm beside you.
My siblings, I'm trying to be a good bro.
Not perfect, but just ordinary.
Hope that you guys will discover my "change" when I go back,
I love you guys...
Missing S3SY guys...
Can we just come out for a cup of tea (yamcha) when I come back?
For those remain in Malaysia?
I wanna share everything I have, because I miss you guys, really.
Dandelion!!!
When can I come back for practice?
Hang came back, when is my turn?
Dai, don't get too stressed with your studies and language thing,
everything piece will fall onto the board when the time comes.
Ah Di, keep moving,
I'll see your success.
Alvin!!! Happy Birthday!!!
Don't keep embracing the sea,
you have friends on land, LOL
Mr. potato, train hard for my sake!
But I gonna beat you when I come back, hehehe...
Anjyl, Chiara and Xuebin,
I really hope to chat with you all someday, somehow...^^
No man is an island, friends are necessary,
a true friend is the most valuable thing anyone can get.
Find one wisely, and he/she will lead your life to "prosperity"
-I Love You-
-To Be Continued-
Raymond Loo
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