Aus life 3

Pretty down these few days,
I decide to express my feeling on this post,
but not announcing her name,
she'll feel troubled.

1 1/2 year, not a long time, not a short time either.
Since when my heart tend to treat her differently,
I'm not so sure;
Since when my eyes become watery because of her,
Not sure either;
Since when my head become light-headed when thinking about her,
Still the same answer;
Since when my fists started to punch the wall and slap my face,
You'll know it;

Anyway, they're a part of my life now, and new members coming in too.
Nightmares...
Overnights...
"Mind-drifter"...
occasionally Tears join them too...
and they have their minions too,
eg. Pimples and Sore-throats come with overnights, and etc...

Anyway, I'm still doing good,
I have friends that can help me to numb my nerves,
They give me great happiness,
but I must say they can't help me to solve this problem,
as they don't know much (some even know nothing) about her,
so... probably its my fault to tell her their comments.

Am I pushing too much?
Am I expecting too much?
Am I thinking too much?
or am I giving too much?
I don't know,
I'm a novice in this particular issue,
I need back ups, not physically, but mentally...
The only back up I have now is kinda busy,
so probably I gonna fight alone now.
(LOL, I'm seems to narrate her as a devil instead of a girl I like)

When my heart is filled with problems I deal in this issue,
I feel alone, really alone...
Its just like everyone beside me vanished,
When I told Hock Chuan (aka Elward) about everything,
he said nothing, just patted my shoulders,
that is enough, I feel that the empty space I'm standing become a bit better,
Tears swarming inside my eyes,
try to control it before it drops and he probably laugh at me(LOL!!!)

I don't care who will read this blog entry,
Even though my parents who would be so anxious about me,
Its alright, Dad, Mum, I'm alright,
Your son won't crumble,
Both of you are my pillars, supporting me,
and one day, I shall be yours
I really miss you all... really....
I will try my best over here and won't disappoint you,
I may be irresponsible in the past,
but believe in me, I'm changing,
Soon, I would let you all believe that I'm a full-grown man.

Geez, I don't think I have any energy to continue,
My eyes are causing dehydration,
And the topic above does not match the story,
This is just a part of my Aus life,
I have my friends and my school life to say,
But I think I'll leave them to the future,
Until then, see you, guys
Take care, to everyone I know.

-To Be Continued-